Moms take care of everyone.

We take care of our families, our kids schools, our coworkers, our friends, our communities, and sometimes strangers.

Its often not until everything else and everyone else is taken care of, do we stop to think about ourselves.

I wrote about the importance of being our own mothers and taking care of ourselves with the same level of care we put into to caring for everyone else.  We ARE the caretaker of our families and our world and they need us.  So we need to be on our game, and that can’t happen if we are not taking care of ourselves as well.

We would never expect our car to function if we never fill it with gas, so today I challenge you to pick some way to fill your own personal gas tank.  I have given you 50 ideas of something nice you can do for yourself.  Which one will you pick?

1. Breathe
2. Go to bed early
3. Light a scented candle
4. Buy a new iphone app
5. Blow dry your hair
6. Put on makeup
7. Sit in the sun
8. Write in your journal
9. Buy a new lip gloss
10. Call a girlfriend
11. Shave your legs
12. Sip a flavored coffee
13. Pick yourself flowers
14. Take a nap
15. Get a pedicure
16. Go for a walk
17. Hide a note in a loved ones bag
18. Plant a seed
19. Check out a library book
20. Watch a random tv show under a blanket
21. Sit quietly
22. Leave the dishes
23. 20 minutes of yoga
24. Meditate
25. Hand write a note
26. Start a gratitude journal
27. Buy the expensive chocolate
28. Drink a green juice
29. Where the special occasion jewelry on an average Wednesday
30. Spend 20 guilt-free minutes on Facebook
31. Leave your phone at home for the entire day
32. Write your grandmother (living or passed) a thank you note
33. Don’t count the calories
34. Google something you always wondered about
35. Jump off the diving board
36. Pay for a strangers bridge toll/coffee/gas/groceries
37. Invest in yourself
38. Purge without feeling guilty
39. Make fresh squeezed lemonade
40. Do a face mask
41. Take a bubble bath
42. Choose the take out
43. Play your favorite song…loud
44. Go for a run
45. Put your feet up
46. Cook your favorite childhood dish
47.  Create a mantra
48. Look at old photos
49. Say out loud, “I’m am a perfect mom for my family”
50. Smile

Leave me a comment below with which act of kindness you’ll do for yourself today.  I can’t wait to hear how well we are all taking care of ourselves!

I remember reading the story of how Julie Morgenstern started her journey to becoming a professional organizer.  She had a brand new baby and decided to take her on a walk to the park.  She frantically ran around the house searching for all the supplies she might need on their outing: diapers, toys, food, etc.  As they were about to leave, she worried it might be too cold outside, so she rushed around again looking for a sweater for the baby.  Her morning continued on like this until she had missed her window to leave the house with the baby (before the next nap or feeding or whatever it was) and they decided to just stay home.  She realized if she was ever going to leave the house again with a child, she was going to have to be more organized.

As a new mom, I could completely relate to her story.  Once I had two kids, each with different supply needs and different time schedules, being organized was essential to getting out of the house in any reasonable amount of time.

I started pre-packing bags and keeping lists of what I needed for any specific outing, so I didn’t waste time searching for items, frantically running around the house and stressing about what I might have forgot.

Motherhood is a crazy, fun, sometimes frantic ride.  The more I can cut down on those frantic moments, the more we can enjoy our time as a family.  Nothing ruins a picnic at the park, like a blow-out diaper and realizing you have no diapers in your bag.

Although it seems like a contradictions, pre-planning also always for more spontaneity.

With unpredictable spring weather, we have been having record heat waves followed by freezing cold days.  I have started leaving a completely packed pool bag in the back of my car.  If I pick up my son from school and it is a warm day, we can zip to the pool for an hour for some one-on-one time before we pick up his sister.  If we had to go home and pack a bag after school…we’d never make it.

The other thing I have realized my lists and my plans have created — More time for me.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day.  I got to sleep in, my munchkins brought me coffee and a hand-made card in bed and I got to take a shower, with the door closed, for longer than 5 minutes! It was already a perfect day!

After that, my husband surprised me with the one thing I think every mom wants for Mother’s Day (or any random day really), the gift of time!   He had scheduled me a massage while he planned to take the kids to the Farmer’s Market for the morning.

Time alone??  You don’t have to ask me twice!

I was able to hand him a pre-packed diaper bag and grab my own pre-packed ‘office bag’ and head out the door with enough time to sit at a coffee shop with my latte and my journal before my amazing massage.

I thought about Julie Morgenstern’s story, and how, with out my lists and bags, I would have been frantically running around the house getting my family and myself ready. I would have missed out on my extra alone time and my son would have missed a few extra turns on the Farmer’s Market bouncy house.

My Mother’s Day Gift To You– LISTS!

So, in honor of Mother’s Day, here is my gift to you.  The gift of time.  I have created 6 downloadable lists to help you stop wasting time searching for what you need, frantically running around your house and stressing about what you may have forgot.  Whether you are heading out with your newborn, or off to the beach with your older kids, these lists will help you pack your bags, keep them stocked and go have fun with your kids! Print them out, use them over and over and never leave the house unprepared again!

Oh, and once you have that bag packed, be sure to hand it to someone else once an a while and take some time for yourself too!

This year,  I started a monthly series to help you make 2013 your Loveliest Year.  My philosophy is that our fulfillment is made up of a series of little tiny acts that move us closer to our happiness.  It is my goal to give you one little tip a month to help you move closer to your own personal happiness and have your own Loveliest Year.

Each month you’ll receive a new suggestion on how to make this your Loveliest Year.  {Click here to download!}

May: Sleep!

I recently surveyed a group of moms on the first thing they think of when it comes to taking batter care of themselves.  Hands down the most repeated answer was sleep. 

As moms, we have a million things to do each day, way more than 24 hours worth.  We also have very limited down time.  For many of us getting up before the rest of the house or staying up late is the only time to get everything done and to have a few quiet minutes to your self.  This month, I want you to try to get just a little more sleep than you normally do.  Even if it is 10 minutes, you will start to feel the effects on your body and your mood.

On tip I have found helps me get in bed earlier is doing my bedtime routine earlier in the evening.  If I brush my teeth and wash my face while I am getting my kids ready for bed (or right after), it shaves at least 10 minutes of my night an allows me to get in bed earlier!

Give it a try and let me know in the comments how you plan to get more sleep this month!

Print out your calendar and tune back in at next month for a new tip to help you have your happiest, most fulfilled year.

Bonus:

Want to do your own??  Want to create a year of new recipes to try or a year of rooms to de-cluttered or a year of hikes to go on?  Download a completely blank version of the year calendar here and plan YOUR most loveliest year.

My freshman-year roommate and I were an unexpected pairing:

I grew up in Los Angeles. She grew up in a Sierra Nevada mountain town that had one stoplight. I came from a big, loud family. She came from a smaller, quieter one. I was happy leaving my side of the dorm furniture in the same configuration the entire year. She liked rearranging her side every few months. I had tomboyish tendencies and hardly knew how to wear make-up. She had been fair Queen and had a stockpile of Clinique. The list of our differences goes on.

Who would’ve guessed that we would become best friends (going on 18 years, now), that we would live together the duration of college, and that we would come to live in the same Bay Area county until I moved back to Los Angeles. Who could’ve guessed that we would grow to endearingly call ourselves a “waste of flesh” — since we are more similar than our differences would suggest, maybe we should actually be only one person.

Our story may be why, as a literary agent for authors and illustrators of children’s literature, I was drawn to represent the picture book WOOBY AND PEEP, written by Cynthea Liu and illustrated by Mary Peterson.

Wooby is a bear who likes the quieter joys in life — reading comic books, tending to his 547-year-old maple tree, listening to his flowing fountain, and spending time with his pet goldfish, Wendy.

Peep is a bird with a bold spirit. She enjoys themed parties, loud music, and going on adventures with her pet iguana, Ricardo. When Peep decides she’s ready to settle down, she moves to a quiet neighborhood, right next door to Wooby.

To make friends, Peep throws a housewarming party and invites everyone in town. But the party is a stunning failure — nobody comes but Wooby. Touched by his gesture, Peep tries her darndest to thank Wooby with elaborate displays of gratitude. What ensues, though, is a series of comedic errors that results in Peep destroying Wooby’s home. Who would guess that, despite it all, Wooby and Peep would come to find that they have more in common than they realize. With Wooby’s yin and Peep’s yang, this unlikely duo become the best of friends.

After all, best friendships can come in unexpected pairings.

I love the story of how my best friend and I became best friends, and I love the story of Wooby and Peep. So, to spread this love, you have the chance to win one of 2 copies of Wooby and Peep signed by both the author and illustrator.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

For more on WOOBY & PEEP, including puppet crafts and coloring pages, visit their website: www.woobyandpeep.com .

Jennifer Rofé (@jenrofe) is a literary agent with the Andrea Brown Literary Agency. She lives in a city of Los Angeles. Her best friend lives in a suburb of San Francisco.

I really feel like I have been hitting my stride as a mompreneur, fulfilling my personal goals and dreams, and taking care of myself while I take care of my family.

But that is not to say I was not ready for a break this week!  I been looking forward to this week, and specifically today for a while.  My kids don’t have school on Wednesday, so it has always been Mama and Kid day.  But today was really a day for us to relax together, no rush anywhere and not have much of an agenda, we hung out in our pjs, ate breakfast on the living room floor and played with playdoh.

My kids were sitting with their playdoh in front of our huge window and it gave me a great idea to try out another goal on my list.  Learn to take better photos of my kids. We got a DSLR camera before my daughter was born, but I never really took the time to learn how to do anything other than auto mode, which really just made it an expensive point and shoot camera.

When I set my personal goals for 2013, learn to take better photos of my kids was high  on my list.

Now, I admit, I have stacked the deck in my favor on this one.  My dear friend and fellow online mompreneur, Beryl Young, is a photography teacher who helps moms like me take better photos of their kids and get more personal enjoyment out of the hobby.

When she launched her new course, Momtographie Online, a few weeks ago, I think I might have been the first person to sign up.  Beryl gave me a sneak peak of a few of the lessons this week and I just happened to watch 2 of the short videos Tuesday night.

So when my kids were intently focused on their playdoh creations, I whipped out my camera, shifted the dial out of auto for the first time ever…and tried out some of her tips.

While I am certainly no pro yet, I am amazed at what I learned in less than an hour of Beryl’s teaching.

This ‘photo session’ and my whole past few months have shown me that I can be a great mom and pursue things that are important to me at the same time.  I set a list of goals and I have been slowing working towards them.  I am happier, more fulfilled and setting a good example for my children.

What step can you take today to move towards your goals and dreams?  Let me know if the comments below.

PS.  I’d love to have you in Momtographie Online with me.  I know Beryl is going to turn us all into momtographers! She is generously offering all meganflatt.com readers 10% off her registration fee (code: megan10). You can learn more about her program and register here.

*I am an affiliate for Momtographie, meaning when you sign up using my link, I get a small commission, but I would be recommended this course, hands down, no matter what.

When a mom asks me for my best productivity tip, my first answer is to keep a detailed to-do list in a reliable place, my second is the Post-It Note Rule.

The No To-Do List: Busyness Factor

When you don’t have a to do list, you can end up being ‘busy’ the whole day without really getting anything important accomplished. You might sit down at your computer to pay bills, but see there is an email from your son’s preschool that requires attention.  When you finish the email you get up to get a glass of water and decided to do the breakfast dishes as well.  While doing the dishes you realize you are almost out of dish soap, so you decide to leave early for school pick up so you can stop by the store for dish soap.  After the store you arrive at school 20 minutes before school lets out, so you sit in your car and surf Facebook until the bell rings and you never actually paid those bills, but you don’t remember, because there is no to do list.

The Too Much To-Do List: Panic-then-Freeze Factor

Now, the flip side is sometimes even those of us who keep big to do lists, still have trouble getting anything done, because we are not sure where to start. With so many tasks to choose from, you start to feel overwhelmed, like there is no way you’ll get everything on your list done.  You open a document you might try to edit, then get up to throw in a load of laundry, while figuring out what birthday present to order off Amazon from your phone in the laundry room. The time drifts by and you haven’t actually crossed anything off your list.

Eventually you are so frazzled you sit down on the couch and put on a DVR’d episode of Vampire Diaries (that’s not just me, right?)

Crazy long to-do list or no to-do list, either way you actually end up spending more time dabbling then actually getting things done.

Follow The Post-it Note Rule.

Keep a big master list of everything you have to do, separate the list by project or area of your life and have all your projects broken down into their individual tasks.

But when it comes to your daily to do list, only commit to doing as many task as will fit on a Post-it, between three and five things.  Make sure these are the big-ticket items, the most important things you need to get done on any given day.  Having them all in one central spot, like a posted note, will help you focus on getting them done.

Amp Your Accomplishment Factor

The second benefit of the Post It Note rule is the sense of accomplishment it allows you to feel.  These things, or the pieces of things, on your post-it note make you feel empowered and successful.  So, not only do you get things done, but you build momentum too.

Momentum from your smaller projects helps give you the confidence and know-how to tackle larger projects, go after goals and pursue passions.

And those sound like the components of a pretty great day too.

If you have big goals, but are short on time, join me for the next round of Nap It Out.  Nap It Out is a 14-day productivity and time management course for busy moms.  You’ll learn all about setting goals, creating actionable to do lists, and get the accountability to complete your project and feel good about your accomplishment.  Learn more here: Nap It Out

I took my kids to a local amusement park last week on the first really warm day of spring. My kids are both beyond fair skinned (one friend calls them ‘clear’), so I slathered them with sunscreen and made them both wear their hats all day.   When we returned home that evening…guess who was sunburned?…me.

It got me thinking about all the ways I take impeccable care of my children, but don’t always extend the same care to my self.

See if any of these situations sound familiar;

Balanced Eating

I make sure my kids eat a healthy, balanced breakfast every morning.  I make sure they get a mix of energy-supporting carbs and long-lasting protein. I can’t imagine sending my kids off to school without breakfast, but I often leave the house with just coffee or the crusts of their toast.

The Importance of Sleep

My kids go to bed at 8pm every night (and earlier if they’ve had a long day.) They don’t stay up too late finishing a blog post or watching trashy tv.  I know how important sleep is for their development (and next day demeanor.) I too often burn the midnight oil, and grab a second cup of coffee to get me through my afternoon daze.

Investing in Fulfillment 

I do not think twice about paying for a ballet class for my 2 year old that consists of her floating like a bubble for 30 minutes once a week. But I agonized over signing myself up for a career development class that would move my business forward and be personally fulfilling as well.
I am a really good mom.  I make sure my kids eat relativity healthy, and I let them enjoy occasional treats as well. I make sure they run around outside, get fresh air and learn new skills while playing.  I pay people to teach them things I can’t and routinely expand their personal libraries of books, art supplies and games to keep their blossoming little minds engaged and stimulated.

But, If I were my own mom…I think someone might have called CPS by now.

Why is this??

I have a sneaking suspicion it has something to do with Mommy Guilt.  Moms tend to put the resources (time and money) to their kids and partners first.

We feel we either don’t deserve to be well taken care of or we simply are so busy that something has to fall off the to do list, and it is usually our own self care.

I have made a commitment to pay closer attention to how I am mothering myself, in particular the 3 examples above.

Balanced Eating

I hard boiling a full dozen eggs each weekend, so no matter how busy my mornings are, I can always grab and egg and a piece of fruit to go with that cup of coffee.  The bonus side effect is my two year old like to try to peel her own egg and will stand at the kitchen sink for a good 15 minutes working on her task…giving me a few minutes to peel and eat my own egg!

Mompreneur Hours

As a mompreneur, my work hours tend to be anytime my children are asleep.  But I found, staying up late was not working for me.  I would spend the whole day anxious about what needed to get done during nap and after bed times.  Then was staying up too late either actually working, or just struggling to fall asleep after winding myself up with computer time.  Now, I focus on getting up early and getting a few key things off my list before my kids wake up.  This helps me set a more productive tone and I feel better about my accomplishments.  It then also frees up my evenings to do a less demanding work task, or just relax with my husband AND get to bed early.

Investing In Myself

My husband looks forward to his weekend mountain bike rides or taking our son to a professional baseball game to unwind.  While these hobbies cost money, they bring him joy and make him healthier, therefore benefiting our whole family. My daughter’s squeals of delight make her ballet class worth every penny, plus she is building skills like following directions and enhancing her physical development as well.

Right now, I am passionate about my business and investing time and money into it brings me fulfillment.  I have set aside a monthly budget to put towards my business or my own education.  This is benefiting my family by having a more fulfilled, happy mom (and hopefully a larger college savings fund for the kids!)  But even if my passion were not something that would also bring in money, I would still invest in myself.

Moms need to invest, both time and money, in their passions.  It comes back ten fold in benefits to their family.{Click to Tweet}

Think about a few ways you are a better mother to your kids than you are to yourself.  Leave your thoughts in the comments below as well as one idea you have for mothering yourself better.  You deserve it!

If you need help finding the time to do the things that are important to you, join me and other like-minded mamas for Nap It Out, a 14-day productivity and time management course for busy moms.  Learn how to get your important projects done, make more time for the things that are important to you and belong to a support group giving compassionate mom-centered accountability along the way!  Click here to learn more.

Are you ready to Embrace Your Mama Revival??

Revival noun ri-ˈvī-vəl

1. Renewed attention to or interest in something,
2. Restoration of force, validity, or effect
3. Return to consciousness, become active or flourish again

Sounds good, doesn’t it?

You love being a mom.

You bring these little beings home and your world changes.  They need you for everything.  And you want to give them everything.  And you give them more and more. And you see them grow and blossom and become these amazing little people. But as you give them the world, your world gets a little bit smaller. And there is this little tiny voice inside you that asks “hey, what about me??”  But you push it down, because you are a good mom and you love your kids and you love your family and you love your life.  You wanted to be a mom. You love being a mom.

But that doesn’t mean you have to stop being a person.

You are so much more than any label.

Maybe you work out a little bit less, but wear yoga pants a little bit more.  Maybe your pre-pregnancy heels are swapped permanently for ballet flats or… uggs.  Maybe you eat peanut butter off a spoon as a meal more often than you’d like to admit and if the movie wasn’t animated, you probably haven’t seen it.

You can give your children the world without giving up yours.

Your greatest accomplishment can be the children you raise….but it doesn’t have to be your only accomplishment.

You have a whole mother load to offer this world.

“The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world” – William Ross Wallace

Embrace your revival, live your most fulfilled life and rock Mamahood.

Lets get started.

While working out with one of my awesome pregnant clients yesterday, we were approached, by another personal trainer, and asked if she was having twins (argh…why do people always ask this??) Well, my client actually is having twins and she is 35 weeks and completely rocking it in the gym and looks amazing. So she replied, “yes.”

The other trainer, someone who spends her day helping people feel their best, said. “I thought so, because you are really big.”

Both my client and I sat their with our mouths agape, before I quickly ushered my client away.

Let me say this again:  IT IS NEVER OK TO TELL A PREGNANT WOMAN SHE IS TOO BIG OR TOO SMALL OR TOO OLD OR TOO BLOND OR TOO ANYTHING!!!!

I have written on this topic before, so I thought it fitting to re-share this article from last year.  Did you have any awkward conversations with strangers while you were pregnant?

Fit to Deliver

My favorite story, happened to one of my personal training clients while we were working out together at a local gym. She was about 7 months pregnant and I assure you- she looked amazing. A woman yelled from at least 30 feet away;

“Get the boiling water and the towels, she’s going to drop that baby any minute!”

The entire gym stopped and looked, while my poor client and I laughed uncomfortably. I mean, when is it ok to yell anything across a crowded public place, to a stranger…

Family ties

What do you do when your own family members turn on you? One Bump Life friend was told by her grandmother that she looked like a Kewpie doll! Grandma?!?!

About to POP!

I think most people have no concept of what a 40-week pregnant woman looks like, so as soon as a woman starts showing it seems people’s first inclination is to say;

“oh…any day now!” or

“You’re about to pop!” (like ‘popping’ is what we want to do)

It MUST be twins

Like my client yesterday, the most common thing I hear from my pregnant friends is people asking them if they are having twins. I mean, this happens ALL THE TIME. The thing is, people are not really asking if you are actually carrying twins, they are telling you you look SO HUGE that the only logical explanation is there must be more than one baby in there. Really?? That is NOT what a pregnant woman wants to hear! (By the way, we don’t want to hear we are too small either!)

Druggie Mom

I LOVE this response one mom gave to her invasive questioning. She actually did have twins and while out walking with the babies (after they were born). A woman asked her if she ‘used drugs.’ Now, this woman was referring to the increase chance of having twins when using fertility drugs (uh…done of your business!!). But my friend said she almost replied “…well this one time, in college…” LOVE IT!!

Fear mongering

When I first confided in a friend that I was pregnant, but was lucky to not have any morning sickness, she told me that it probably meant there was something wrong with the baby.

WHAT?!?!

Even if that were true…which it is not, why would you say that to a newly pregnant woman!

And what about being told by a stranger your exercise routine is “probably going to kill your baby” while walking by.

Three is a Crowd

While pregnant with her 3^rd child and walking with her other two, one Bump Life reader was told she was the problem with population control!!

Lets get Physical

Can you imagine walking up to a perfect stranger to say hello and doing so while rubbing his belly? Weird, creepy, assault worthy, right? Then why do so many people touch pregnant women’s bellies??

And while we are on that topic; please don’t approach my baby in the shopping cart and kiss her face…yes, that just happened to me.

But how funny is the story of being ‘belly bumped’ by another pregnant woman, told by another bump life friend. It’s like a high five for the babies. Weird- yes- but kinda sweet too.

We all have these stories, and most of them we can just laugh off, but I am SO careful when I talk with pregnant woman (or a woman who I think is pregnant).

Here are some of the things I try to say when I see a lovely pregnant woman (when I am SURE she is pregnant!!!.)

1. Congratulations!
2. I love your ______ (scarf, shoes, purse- something that is not about being pregnant
3. Pregnancy is tough sometime, but you look fantastic!
4. Your skin is glowing!
5. Can I hold the door for you?
6. Good for you for exercising, you are taking care of yourself and your baby
7. That was my favorite ________ product. (when you see a bewildered looking pregnant woman at Babies R Us trying to decide between two products)
8. You are the perfect size!
9. Your kids are adorable, I am sure the next one will be too!
10. You look amazing!

What are some things you WISHED more people said to you when you were pregnant?

Join me on Facebook or Twitter to share your stories!!