The other day I walked into a local children’s store and a woman approached me.
“Hi! I’m So-and-so and I am a local therapist and I am starting a new moms’ support group here on Tuesdays. SO….when are you due??”
um…yeah….I’m not ‘due,’ I am a year post partum, but thanks for making me feel FANTASTIC about my post baby body!!
“Oh” I said instead, “I’m not pregnant.” And walked away.
All I could think was this woman is trying to HELP new moms feel supported and more confident about motherhood…and she opens with asking a not-pregnant woman, when she is due??? Yeah, probably not going to her support groups!
In my years of working with pregnant woman, I feel like I have heard it all. But it seems like everyone has a crazy story of something that was said or done to them during their pregnancy (um…belly bumping??? What????).
I posed the question on my facebook page and I got some great responses!
Fit to Deliver
My favorite story, happened to one of my personal training clients while we were working out together at a local gym. She was about 7 months pregnant and I assure you- she looked amazing. A woman yelled from at least 30 feet away;
“Get the boiling water and the towels, she’s going to drop that baby any minute!”
The entire gym stopped and looked, while my poor client and I laughed uncomfortably. I mean, when is it ok to yell anything across a crowded public place, to a stranger…
What do you do when your own family members turn on you? One Bump Life friend was told by her grandmother that she looked like a Kewpie doll! Grandma!!
About to POP!
I think most people have no concept of what a 40-week pregnant woman looks like, so as soon as a woman starts showing it seems people’s first inclination is to say;
“oh…any day now!” or
“You’re about to pop!” (like ‘popping’ is what we want to do)
It MUST be twins
Probably the most common thing I hear from my pregnant friends is people asking them if they are having twins. I mean, this happens ALL THE TIME. The thing is, people are not really asking if you are actually carrying twins, they are telling you you look SO HUGE that the only logical explanation is there must be more than one baby in there. Really?? That is NOT what a pregnant woman wants to hear! (By the way, we don’t want to hear we are too small either!)
I LOVE this response one mom gave to her invasive questioning. She actually did have twins and while out walking with the babies (after they were born). A woman asked her if she ‘used drugs.’ Now, this woman was referring to the increase chance of having twins when using fertility drugs (uh…done of your business!!). But my friend said she almost replied “…well this one time, in college…” LOVE IT!!
When I first confided in a friend that I was pregnant, but was lucky to not have any morning sickness, she told me that it probably meant there was something wrong with the baby.
Even if that were true…which it is not, why would you say that to a newly pregnant woman!
And what about being told by a stranger your exercise routine is “probably going to kill your baby” while walking by.
Three is a Crowd
While pregnant with her 3rd child and walking with her other two, one Bump Life reader was told she was the problem with population control!!
Lets get Physical
Can you imagine walking up to a perfect stranger to say hello and doing so while rubbing his belly? Weird, creepy, assault worthy, right? Then why do so many people touch pregnant women’s bellies??
And while we are on that topic; please don’t approach my baby in the shopping cart and kiss her face…yes, that just happened to me.
But how funny is the story of being ‘belly bumped’ by another pregnant woman, told by another bump life friend. It’s like a high five for the babies. Weird- yes- but kinda sweet too.
We all have these stories, and most of them we can just laugh off, but I am SO careful when I talk with pregnant woman (or a woman who I think is pregnant). Here are some of the things I try to say when I see a lovely pregnant woman (when I am SURE she is pregnant!!!.)
- I love your ______ (scarf, shoes, purse- something that is not about being pregnant
- Pregnancy is tough sometime, but you look fantastic!
- Your skin is glowing!
- Can I hold the door for you?
- Good for you for exercising, you are taking care of yourself and your baby
- That was my favorite ________ product. (when you see a bewildered looking pregnant woman at Babies R Us trying to decide between two products)
- You are the perfect size!
- Your kids are adorable, I am sure the next one will be too!
- You look amazing!
What are some things you WISHED more people said to you when you were pregnant?