What should you be doing right now???
Probably a million things. But what does that mean?
Even though we are into February, we are still coming off the Holidays, with the endless opportunities for ways we should celebrate and things we should do with our families.
We should take the kids to the Nutcracker.
We should do that craft we saw on Pinterest.
And then we roll right into New Year’s Resolutions, which are built exactly on all the things we should be doing.
I should loose 10 pounds.
I should volunteer more.
I believe the word should is a warning sign. The more we find we are using the word should in our vocabulary; the further we are getting from the life we actually want.
And want is the word we need to increase in our vocabulary.
How many times have you found yourself saying;
“I want to _______________ (read more, learn to sew, write a book, launch my dream business, hike the Inca trail), but I don’t have the time.”
As moms, we are hardwired to take care of everyone and everything. Plus, we really do value the work that needs to be done to ensure our children have healthy lives, our communities have great schools, our houses are warm and inviting and our families are well taken care of.
We don’t have to do everything all the time.
We need to use the word want more and more in our lives and the first step is to let go of the shoulds.
We create these weird rules around what we (you guessed it) should be doing to be considered a good person, or more specifically a good mom.
Here’s the thing, you are a good mom when you’re doing the things you want to do to be a good mom, or spouse, or employee, or friend — not when you’re doing the thing you’ve decided you should do.
Should leads to frustration, resentment and exhaustion… not to bonus points.
But easier said than done, right? Where do you start?
Take out your to do list, or your goal list, or your volunteer assignment and simply say out loud before each thing on your list:
“I want to _______ (fill in the blank with list item).”
If it sounds silly or makes you scoff, there’s your first red flag.
Now, don’t get me wrong, every list is going to have a few “must do” items. I mean your family has to eat, right? But you only get to use the phrase; “I must do________” a handful of times.
Everything else is either a wholehearted; “I want to” or it is a “should do” and gets eliminated, delegated or at the very least, scaled back.
If you can’t say out loud with a straight face “I want to chair the preschool fundraiser,” or “I want to hand-make my child’s Valentines cards,” then perhaps there’s an easier way.
So, what should you be doing right now??
Anything you want, mama.