You are an awesome mom.
You feed your kids healthy meals and would never let them leave the house without breakfast. You invest time and money to help them develop skills and you cheer on their accomplishments. You make sure they get a good night sleep and plenty of time to run around during the day.
You are an awesome mom… to your children.
But how are you at mothering yourself?
Should someone call the authorities yet?
We already know that so often mom’s needs fall to the bottom of the list when every one and everything else has to be taken care of first. We tell ourselves that once we do x, y, and z… then there will be time for us. But x, y, and z turns into the whole alphabet and there is never time left over.
We get so far down the rabbit hole of caring for everyone else, that even when a few precious free moments DO pop up, we don’t even think to do something for ourselves. We even get to the point where we actually think we are being selfish if we spend any time on anything other than the care of those people and things around us.
Do you ever find yourself saying (or thinking) these things?
“Who am I to paint my nails when there is another load of laundry to be done?”
“We can’t afford for me to take that workshop, preschool tuition is so high.”
I want you to take a moment and flip this around. Think of your very best girlfriend and imagine she was saying one of the above statements to you (or what ever statement you tell yourself.)
What would you say to her?
Would you tell her: “You are right, you don’t deserve to take 5 minutes to paint your nails.” or “I agree, your personal development is not important?”
We need to start being our own mother (or our own best friend) and extending the same high standards for our self care as we do for the care of everyone else.
To be your own best mother you need to:
Nourish Your Body and Soul
Take time each day to make sure you feed yourself breakfast, eat healthy snacks at regular intervals and indulge in treats when appropriate. That is what you do for your kids right? Can you imagine telling your kids you are too busy to feed them lunch?
Make sure you take time to do the things you enjoy. My son can play with his legos for hours (ok… minutes… but lets not get into semantics here) and my daughter loves to belt out the lyrics to Frozen on her Karaoke machine. But we often wait to participate in our own fun activities “until there is more time.”
What would happen if you just got out your paint set that has been at the bottom of the drawer, or took your camera with you on a neighborhood walk, or belted the lyrics to Frozen yourself?
Be Your Own Cheerleader
We are always our own harshest critics. But again, think how much care we take in bolstering our children’s confidence.
How many times a day do your say:
“I loved how you helped that other boy on the playground.”
“You have been working so hard at learning to color inside the lines.”
But do you chastise yourself for not getting to the gym or for not working harder at that work project?
Invest In Yourself
I do not think twice about paying for a ballet class for my 3 year old that consists of her floating like a bubble for 30 minutes once a week. But I agonized over signing myself up for a career development class that would move my business forward and be personally fulfilling as well.
Moms tend to put the resources (time and money) to their kids and partners first.
Investing in yourself benefits your whole family by having a more fulfilled, happy, healthy mom.
Remember, your kids are watching everything you do. So, while we think we are doing everything for them. We are also setting an example of how they should treat themselves now, and when they become parents.
So take some time today and ask yourself: “How can I mother myself better today?”